godspell part two: in god

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Brooke’s Godspell Guys, getting ready to go to the play

Please click HERE for the back story.

I have a confession.

It’s about the Godspell post.

I know I promised that I’d tell you about the play. And I’m usually pretty good at keeping  my word, right? (Say right.) But here we are, over a week later, and still – not a peep. And that whole “Well, there’s just other stuff that I’m dying to tell you first”? Crap. Pure and utter crap.

I’ve been avoiding it.

And not because it wasn’t wonderful. Quite the opposite in fact. Because the reality of it was so damned magical that I’ve been feeling like if I try to write about it I’ll make it less sacred. That I won’t do it justice and my flailing attempt will somehow break the spell.

Because, you see, I just don’t have words — and I have LOTS of words – but I don’t have the ones I need to explain how engaged Brooke was with the play, how invested she was in the characters, how connected she was to the music and the message and the joy and the glory and the betrayal and the redemption and the wrenching sadness and the loss and the forgiveness and the rebirth and the hope and the idea that, as she puts it, “when Jesus dies, He’s in God and He can never die again.”

I can’t tell you what it feels like to sit with her as she lights up from the inside out, basking in the glow of that for which she has such a deep, consuming, abiding love.

What I can tell you is how she pointed and clapped and tapped her feet with delight. And I can tell you how she sang softly along to every song and how she pointed out changes and said to me, “Matthew is a girl this time, see?”

What I can tell you is that she couldn’t wait for the “workers,” as she calls them to come back after the intermission. And I can tell you that after it was all over, she introduced herself to each and every actor as though that was something that, ya know, she did. I can tell you that that’s now apparently something that she does.

But I cannot tell you how accepting they were when she did — how generous the student director and actors were with their time, how warm and welcoming and open they were with their hearts.

I just can’t tell you.

Because words aren’t big enough.

They are not, nor will they ever be, capable of lassoing God’s love and explaining to you what it looks like in my daughter’s eyes.

No, it takes an entire play to do that.

Then again, maybe, just maybe, I do have the words. But they’re not mine. They’re Brooke’s.

In God.

Yes, that’s how it feels to watch Godspell with my daughter.

Like being in God.

A thousand thanks to Mary, Alessa and the entire BC cast and crew of Godspell who opened their dress rehearsal and their hearts to our family. You gave us, well, magic. 

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Katie and Brooke with a few of the wonderful cast members after the show

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8 thoughts on “godspell part two: in god

  1. awesome, beautiful, all of it. can’t believe she introduced herself to all of the “workers”, that’s a wonderful thing. my heart is full reading this. your one-kid revolution just keeps growing and growing.

  2. She grows and grows because you provide the environment for it and you nurture it all the time. It comes in pieces, some large and some small. She grows in a place where love is all around.
    A very lucky girl…All of you are!
    Dad

  3. You wrap your kiddos up in love, understanding and respect, and they flourish.

    And you make me tear up at work – and at home – and wherever else I read your stuff ;)

  4. Beautiful. It’s amazing that this little sprite has the strength, through pure love, to bring you all into God, in the flow and connection of a perfect universe. What a beautiful place to be.

  5. “…and a little child shall lead them.” Your girls lead you to HIm and it is a beautiful thing. You all have blessed me so much.

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