i’d like to thank the academy ..

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OK, so here’s the story. I won an award. Well, kinda. It’s not really an award, per se. It’s called the Stylish Blogger Award, but it’s really a blogging meme thingy that gets passed on in the form of the award icon above from one blogger to the next, thereby guilting them into participating.

Not that I don’t appreciate it, mind you. I do. Very much in fact. And not just because I am pretty dang stylish. I appreciate it mostly because I really like the lady that it came from, Professor Mother. Her blog is smart and thoughtful and she is obviously wonderfully tuned in to her kids, so I’ve decided that, for her, I am willing to temporarily suspend my long-standing moratorium on these things. But just long enough for one post. Then back to my completely arbitrary, very strict no meme policy.

The rules of the game (loosely interpreted) are that I need to tell you seven things about myself that you don’t already know and then force ask three other bloggers to do the same by tagging them.

The last time I agreed to get hit with one of these won an award like this was in 2008. Back then, I wrote the following:

OK, so my girl Jersey over at The Adventures of Boy Wonder tagged me with this um well thingy where I’m supposed to tell you six of my unspectacular quirks and then do a whole lot of other stuff which includes a lot of cutting and pasting and then tagging other people with some more cutting and pasting and then getting them to cut and paste too.

I love my Jersey girl, so I don’t want to let her down, but I’ve got to be honest, I’m just not a fan of these things.  Besides, I happen to think that my quirks are pretty spectacular, but I’ll do my best to find six that I can share.

Incidentally, I asked Luau for his thoughts and suffice to say he a) went over the limit ~ six dear, just six ~ and b) he gave me nothing that was appropriate for public consumption. Thanks for your help, darling. Really.

So here goes:

1. I never sit with my back to the room in a restaurant.

The only exception to this rule is if I’m dining with my Dad. That’s because he’s the one who taught me never to sit with my back to the room so it was his rule first. And he’s bigger than I am. By a lot. And he was a middle school principal for forty-five years so when he tells you to do something, you just kind of do it. Because you feel like if you don’t do it, you might get detention. Or ‘the look’. And you DON’T want the look. Trust me.

Oh, his reasoning had something to do with seeing the shooter coming. Whatever, Don Corleone.

2. I brush my teeth in the shower. Hey, my time is precious. Two minutes I save is two minutes I can spending making the world a better place for my children. Or sleeping. Or writing. Or playing Scramble. Or sleeping. Yes, I know I said sleeping twice.

3. I always smell my food before I eat it. I believe that this is just common sense.

4. I have one radio station programmed in my car. All country. All the time.

4.a) I love the PBR. Oh gee, was that a link to Justin McBride? Oops.

5. I have 123 pairs of shoes. Yes, I just counted them. No, I didn’t count sneakers. Yes, I can still give you twelve reasons why I NEED another pair.

6. I can wiggle my ears.

Oh, and if this is your thing, consider yourself tagged.

It seems pretty lame to just dredge up the old stuff and leave it at that, so I’m updating the list with some new ones. Oh, and for the record, I asked Luau for his help again and this time he was even less helpful than last time. Thanks, babe. You’re nothing if not consistent.

Here goes:

1. I can sing the states in alphabetical order. Up to Michigan.

2. I love Sour Patch Kids, but I don’t eat the green ones. Unless I’m desperate. Conversely, I find that the red and yellow, when eaten together are something near sublime.

3. If I hold a door for someone and they don’t say, “Thank you” I say “You’re welcome” anyway. Luau used to find this obnoxious and embarrassing. One of my great joys in life is that he now does it too.

(3a I’m a little bit evil.)

4. I find the fact that my mom hates the word ‘puke’ so funny that it makes it almost irresistibly tempting to somehow work it into conversation every time I see her.

5. I am probably not really five feet tall, but a doctor once said that I was, and I haven’t let anyone measure me since. Hey, he put it on my chart, so it has to be true. Who am I to question a medical professional? (I’d be grateful if you’d leave your observation of the blatant hypocrisy in that question to yourselves. Thank you.)

6. In my head I am tall, thin and elegant. Hence my surprise every time I pass a mirror.

7. When I was very little we used to go to a restaurant called Mario’s Place. Mario once came to the table after our meal and asked me if I “liked my din-din”. My father abhorred baby talk and adamantly believed that children should be spoken to rather than cooed at, so the next time we went in he had coached me to answer, “Yes, thank you. It was a gustatory delight.” I still find that story horrifying. Thanks, Dad.

8. I can’t remember the last time I cooked dinner for my family. In fact, I once made Katie a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when she was two and she screamed across the house, “Daddy, look! Mama’s cooking!” (Stop judging – That was a long time ago. I now often bake like my life depends on it and I do make the occasional breakfast or lunch.)

(8a I get a little defensive. You know, sometimes.)

9. I no longer have the foggiest idea what my natural hair color is, nor do I care.

10. I relish really bad reality television. The worse the better. Sister Wives, The Bachelor in any of its sordid forms, Rock of Love, The Apprentice – bring em on. Though I did discover that even I have my limits – Bridalplasty made me want to puke. (Yup, still funny. Sorry, Mom.)

11. I really only use two nail polish colors – Midnight in Moscow and Mademoiselle. Whenever I branch out, I regret it instantly.

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Ooh, look. I got all carried away and did eleven. Do I get extra credit?

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Anyway, like last time, I am going to take a pass on foisting this on anyone else. However, also like last time, I am going to invite anyone who wants to participate to do so. If you have a blog, jump on in. Consider yourself tagged, or, um ‘awarded’ as the case may be. Copy the icon thingy. It’s all yours. And if you make a post of it, come back here and let me know so we can all read it.

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If you don’t have a blog of your own, feel free to play along by leaving your seven (or eleven!) tidbits about yourself in a comment for all of us to see. And laugh at. No, no, kidding. We’d never laugh at you. We’re too busy laughing at me.

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Ed note: I decided to do this for a reason. It has nothing to do with autism. It has nothing to do with my kids. Although it mentions him, it really has nothing to do with my husband.

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I did it because it’s about ME.

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It’s purely self-indulgent, frivolous, silly fun. And I’ll be damned if we ALL don’t deserve a little (or a LOT) more of that around these parts. So join me, won’t you? Let’s kick off 2011 by remembering, honoring and enjoying just a little bit of who WE are.