Posted in February 2009

without further adieu

I still couldn’t believe that it was actually happening. Even as I fussed about the house preparing for our guests’ arrival, it just didn’t feel real. And then the phone rang sometime around noon.  “HiJessit’sPixieMama!                So,umhere’sthething,itlookslikeweactuallyleftalittletooearly! AccordingtoMapquestweareonlythirtyminutesaway! AndohmygoshcanIjusttellyou – I’vehaboutdelevenshotsofespressosincethisweleftthismorning. See,westoppedatStarbuck’sacoupleoftimes andsoIthinkI’vebeentalkingalot butMichellehasbeensosweet! AndI’mprettysureIhaven’tlethergetawordinedgewise. Butohmygoshshe’ssuchagreatlistenerandso,um, Iknowwe’rereallyearlybutareyoureadyforus?” I couldn’t help but laugh. It was the first time that I’d ever … Continue reading

but

Sunday morning – 1:30 am. The night had just wound down. It was FAR past my bedtime. John was headed home, the last of the local ladies had hit the road and those that were staying over had just retired to bed. I was far too wired to think of sleep. The evening had been a whirlwind … Continue reading

i can't wait

  I can’t believe it’s really happening. In three days, many of you – fifteen to be precise – will materialize before my very eyes. You will, like the Velveteen Rabbit of my youth, become real. When we started talking about all of this, it felt like a pipe dream. It all started with one … Continue reading

girls on ice

How I Spent The Best Sunday Morning Ever By Jess   Once upon a time (or really about two years ago, when we still had two nickels to rub together) we hosted a fund raiser for Brooke’s integrated preschool. When Brooke first started at the school, we had been desperate to find a way to get involved and to give something back to all of the … Continue reading

are you sure?

  OK, so yes, we fight to get away from scripting. We cherish any and all tidbits of conversation that are (or at least appear to be) spontaneously generated. We celebrate any dialogue whose lines can’t be immediately traced back to an episode of JoJo or a favorite Dora storybook. But really, is it always so wrong? I mean, always? Like the following, for … Continue reading

ron

  “Good morning, Jess!’ That booming, unmodulated voice. The accompanying slightly oafish grin. The social skills that are slightly, well ‘off’ of the norm. The eye contact that falls a couple of degrees short of the intended target. He makes me smile, despite myself. No matter how determined I am to be cranky, no matter how disastrous my day, I can’t walk … Continue reading

the hardest thing

  Restraint is not me. It sits like an anvil on my chest, squeezing the air out of my lungs. It reminds me, admonishes me. Tsk tsk. Approach slowly, gingerly – lest she run. Every day, I fight to neutralize every molecule of my being, wrestling with my very nature. Restraint is not me. It runs … Continue reading

care package

The year was 1989. The setting – a small 4th floor dorm room off the quad on an idyllic New England college campus. No surface was immune from the chaos that represented my life in that moment – a hopeless jumble of papers, assorted ashtrays gagging on charred cigarette butts, empty cans, bottles and half … Continue reading

the little things

  I haven’t been the kind of Mom that I want to be this week. I’ve been pulled in endless directions both physically and emotionally. I’ve been out of the house far more than I ever want to be, and the next few days promise to be even worse.  When I have been home, I’ve been … Continue reading

batteries not included

  I have spent the better part of a week now moving at warp speed. The world has been a blur of movement around me as I’ve scrambled to find my footing atop a rapidly shifting landscape. Survival mode is exhausting. Anxiety has stolen any hope of peaceful sleep. The constant whir of activity and … Continue reading